Is borderline personality disorder one of the reasons for my infidelity?

A relationship of almost 7 months has ended due to my infidelity. I was very happy with my boyfriend, he was the only person who truly ever loved me, and towards the end, I became very stressed and felt out of control. I have been diagnosed with bpd a few months ago, but never sought treatment when I should have.


I suppose there were a few things that I was missing in my relationship. He would joke around, calling me names and picking on me, but always assured me he was joking and I truly knew he didn't mean it. I feel it's my negative self image, low self esteem issues, and overall negative outlook on myself that caused me to look elsewhere for this reassurance and positive attention. Even though my boyfriend would compliment me all the time, I guess I really never focused on that, but dwelled on the negative things that he said even when joking.


I have never cheated in my entire life, and this relationship was the last one I would ever even think where this could happen. He is completely hurt, and doesn't know if he wants to give me a second chance or not. I don't blame him. But at the same time, I want to do everything in my power to get him back. I sent him some information about my disorder, since he doesn't really understand it that well, and I never really brought up that I was suffering from it. I didn't think it was as serious as it really is. I have looked up the infidelity rate with bpd sufferers, and it's quite high. I never wanted to hurt him this way, and I have started going to counseling, and started getting all treatment that's needed. There is no justifying what I did, but I can't help but wonder if this plays a huge part in it, and how can I cope, and what should I do to help the situation and try to help him understand that I never meant to hurt him?Is borderline personality disorder one of the reasons for my infidelity?
Your disorder could well have been what even caused you to 'cheat' on your boyfriend. The real question for me to ask you is this: do you totally remember cheating on him? When the disorder is strong, it can cause you to do things that you don't totally remember. If you have DID, you could have a totally different personality doing you 'in'. Ask your counselor about DID. Good Luck!Is borderline personality disorder one of the reasons for my infidelity?
that's weak don't blame Your disorders on being a cheater
i would not stand for that happening ever again
Left untreated, people with BPD often become addicts and sexually promiscuous. Some go as far as to self mutilate and often form relationships in 5 minutes, then break them off after 15 minutes. They oscillate between love and hate (emotions) and drive people crazy. There is also usually another condition (dual diagnosis) and sometimes even a third disorder (cluster diagnosis): for example, chemical dependency, BPD, PTSD, anxiety or depression.





The good news is that you are coming to terms with it and have had one experience that has been very much an eye opener for you, and your bf. Keep talking with him if you can, and continue with any form of help that you need. I've seen people overcome all sorts of adversity, especially so if they are motivated. If he is willing, see if he will join you in counselling from time to time.





Good luck, and don't give up.