How do families deal with infidelity?

I have a sister who I love, who was cheated on. Her husband emotionally abused her for years and was also having affairs.





Besides ';their'; issues, he was disrespectful on many occasions, to all members of her family. It has become that I want nothing to do with this guy. Hes not welcome in my home, you disrespect me, your outta of my home. I wont let him come in my home and cont. this disrespect.





He has now come back and she has decided she needs to take him back.





We have tried to counsel her, but she doesnt want anyone in her families advice. Doesnt want to hear a neg word about what shes doing.





But, she calls, comes over etc., and is like, ';hes a changed man, hes found God,'; etc. etc. etc. I dont BUY a word of it. Im like ';No, hes not welcome in my home';. Im not budging on this. Ive had it with this guy, if you want to cont. to make your life miserable,go for it.





Im saddened alittle because our holidays and birthdays will suffer, and we ';wont'; be a family together. But, Im not budging. If I do, in 5 years, because I do see a REAL change in his attitude towards my family, how do we sit at a table with him and not think about the things hes done to my sister, or to us.





He wants back in to our lives, however, he still hasnt apolojized for his disrespect to us, how can I accept him?





Families have to cope with infidelities too, how do we do it?





Serious inquiries only please.How do families deal with infidelity?
Since he hasn't apologized you have every right to feel the way you do towards the situation.People say they change all the time but like you said they have to show it consistently. Keep your eyes open he may still be a prick, and your sister is in love she won't see it until it's to late.I'm not telling you to be her keeper just a good friend. And remember only GOD can judge someone.How do families deal with infidelity?
Do not budge. Your sister should leave him and wait for another.
families don't deal with infidelity. The couple deals with it.





your only responsibility in this matter is to give him the chance to prove himself to you. She's taken him back yet again. you don't have to like it but to speak ill of him to her risks her leaving your life and then she has no support when and if she needs it again.





You can be civil or polite when you see him but you don't have to be overly involved with him. You do this for her.





You also tell her that you no longer want to hear her speak ill of him unless she's really leaving for good because when she speaks badly of him, that leaves a bad impression with you of him and then when she makes up with him that then leaves a bad impression of her. it makes you think that she is weak and unable to take care of herself and that she doesn't know what is right or good for herself. Tell her it makes you sad to see her waste her time on someone who has time and time again proved that he is unworthy of her and yet she continues to take him back each time claiming he has changed.





If she stops running him down to you, then you'll stop seeing only the bad in him and you'll be able to focus more on him to see if he really is changing. Meanwhile, if she doesn't feel that she has to defend him to you then she can also pay closer attention to his behavior and see for herself whether or not he is changing.