I think I am having a Nervous Breakdown?

Ok so I am at the critical point of deciding whether or not to divorce. I have very mixed feelings and the process is taking its toll on me emotionally. Today I feel like my heart is going to come out of my chest. I didn't sleep last night which doesn't help either. I know part of this is anxiety or panic attack, but how do I cope? I think the problem is that I don't want to let go and I am scared of what will become of me and our children, but think it is probably what I must do. I am also feeling a lot of guilt as I had an affair 5 years ago which kind of caused him to have his affair for the last 2 1/2 years. I don't think he can let her go - even though he stopped contact. His best friend lives with the OW's sister. I think everyone would be better off if I just left. 24 years together is a long time.





One more thing. He says all I have to say is stay and we will work it out. He wants me to tell him that in time I will be able to regain the love that I lost through his infidelity. I can't tell him that honestly because I don't know. So now he knows she loves him with all her heart and will take him and treat him like a king. How do I compete? Do I compete? Is he worth it?





Please, not stupid comments about how we deserve each other because we are both cheaters. I'm asking for sincere help only. Thank you.I think I am having a Nervous Breakdown?
I really believe you could work things out.


Especially because your husband sounds willing to work on it. But, work means work. He must avoid her to an extreme and at any cost. ie. lose contact with his best friend.


I am a believer that you can earn back trust after an infidelity but it takes being willing to be very accountable and very cautious for a while, ( on his part) Like a year at least.


I am also a believer in marriage. You ask is he worth it? I think a 24 year old marriage is definitely worth fighting for. Don't give up that easily...and as far as competing? I don't think he should have you in a position to even remotely be ';competing';. He needs to do what he has to do to take that out of the equation.


I'll pray for you.I think I am having a Nervous Breakdown?
Get off the computer and go see a doctor or take yourself to the ER, if necessary.





Or stop being melodramatic. A ';nervous breakdown'; and sleepless nights can be a sign of a serious mental disorder.





Back burner your marriage issues and get help for your psychological ones.
Oh wow, you are in a predicament.


I hear you had an affair once and he had one that has lasted and is still going on for the last 2 1/2 years? That's insane! There IS a big difference between a short affair/one night and one that has lasted this long. Are you putting up with it bc you had one?


That's crazy! He has the cake and eats it too. He has a mistress and a wife! LEAVE him. You have a thousand reasons;


1). There was a void in you to begin with, that's why you had an affair.


2). You are so unhappy and stressed that it's taking both emotional and physical toll on you.


3). You having an affair is NO reason or excuse for him to have one!!!! It doesn't give him any right! Either he forgives you or he leaves you but he can't use it as an excuse to have one himself!


4). You wrote here bc you are unhappy and desperate which means you have had enough.





I feel for you. You have had a long marriage but that does not mean it is still a good one and you deserve so much better.


I'm wanting to leave my husband too.


You are NOT alone!


Good Luck!
oh my heart breaks for you.....this is really hard and i'm not going to tell you it gets any easier....you need to take some time for your self and really think about what you want and how this is all going to turn out. I left my husband and in the process came to a relationship with Jesus.I don't know what your beliefs are and I'm not pushing mine on you, but I believe now if I had come to Jesus while I was still with my husband we may have worked it out. (he was a drunken a**hole, verbally abusive to me and our 2 year old daughter and i feared what was next) I began a new relationship right away and we love each other dearly but I feel the pain of my divorce everyday. Should I have stayed and dealt with the abuse? Probably not. I know I did the right thing but feel tremendous guilt over it. My daughter and I have a wonderful life now, that we could have never had before and her daddy finally grew up and decided to be a sober dad. I don't think that would have happened if I had stayed with him.


You should try to make it work and if it doesn't at least you can say you tried...