Coping with the children after a nasty divorce.....?

My husband and I divorced after almost 9 years of marriage and in that time, had the most wonderful two children who are now 5 and almost 3..they are very young. During our 9 years of marriage as well, I went through sparatic abuse of all forms including physical, traces of infidelity,extreme taboo porn (including beastiality and incest..more incest than any) and one red handed count of molesting my older sister while she slept over for a visit (no charges were pressed). Needless to say he was twisted! I can seem to separate two things though...his relationship with the kids! He was....a WONDERFUL father who loved the kids..but his actions to me and his private time....tell me not so much. My kids(esp my son) look up to him. Now that we are divorcing....things change. I don't want to tear him outta the kids lives...but then again I want to protect them because I would be a fool to assume he is normal? My husband agreed to let me make a 1000 mile move if I brought the children home for visits according to school breaks....and so I did. I think the separation is good....it distances his ways and keeps the kids less prone to being around it so often and their chances low...but are still able to have a relationship. Before we agreed on separation, he started sleeping and seeing someone from a sex ad, and beat the crap outta me twice in front of my children. My views are pretty skewed on him, even his relationship with the kids. My move is made and I don't plan on uprooting my kids again...I just want life to go on! How do I handle the guilt of wondering how my children will turn out with their father far away and out of their lives.....or handle the moments of them missing their father???Coping with the children after a nasty divorce.....?
why WOULDN'T you want him out of your kids lives. He will teach them that this behavior is okay, that YOU are not to be respected and I PROMISE you he will abuse your children too. He may even RAPE them. This man is not a father he is a sperm donor. It is abuse just for your children to watch you get beat up. I never saw my father so much as yell at my mother and if you are divorce he did not LET you do ****. You did it on your own. You are an adult and you do not have to answer to him. You should not feel guilty for protecting yourself and your children. No kid needs an abusive father and you know what your kids are so young that if you just keep him away in 3 years they won't remember him. This was a good age to do this. Kids do not form permanent bonds and attachments and memories until they are five and your five year old is still young enough to undo the damage. Just don't go running into the arms of another man like this. There are men out there who aren't like this. I have been with (not sex for you perverts out there) 16 guys and NONE of them have hit me or raped me.Coping with the children after a nasty divorce.....?
Wonderful father?! WTF! Why isn't he in jail where he belongs! I hope this is just another bored troll out there.
I think that the fact that your son witnessed th abuse and will need therapy should be your major concern...forget about the distance between your children and your husband and focus on your cildren and how to deal with their needs because they have undoubetedly been traumatized. Their well-being should be of your utmost concern and you have already made the most important move and that was to get away from him. Now worry about dealing with caring for your children because they are most important.